Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Dead Squirrels..

Sometimes you witness something 
and you are sure it must be 
a sign of the apocalypse...

America is one wacky place, 
and from the looks of this video, 
especially in Florida... 

No offense, but the Sunshine State seems to 
attract more than the average number 
of maladjusted humans... 

I am allowed to say that because I lived there 
for six years and watched the mayhem happen....

All the time... 

Okay, so just watch this video 
and we will discuss afterward...



My best friend, Chris, showed me this video 
and I am sure it is only because 
I won't judge her sanity for sharing it with me... 

Sisters love each other, 
even when they share strange, 
disgusting and odd shit....

What was your reaction?  

Mine was WTF????  

I mean, this video was wrong on so many levels...  

I can hardly eat my carmelized onion and sausage pizza 
right now because I am so grossed and weirded out.  

Did you ask yourself the following questions...

1. Why did her father videotape his daughter 
holding a dead, wild animal?

2. Why did he not, upon seeing her cradle 
said dead, wild animal in her arms, 
instinctively drop the damn camera, 
run to her and disengage it 
from her chubby little hands?


3. Why did the mother stand there 
like Edvard Munch's "The Scream" 
instead of removing the dead squirrel 
from her precious daughter?

4. Why did the mother then take off? 

5. Was she headed to the Mini Mart 
for a carton of Pall Mall's?

6. Was she going to the "Last Call" 
to drink the image from her mind?

7. Why does this little girl love the dead squirrel?  
Does it complete her set of dead rats, 
mice, snakes and pelicans? 
And, OMG...
Did she just make the squirrel nod, yes???

8. Why doesn't McDonald's use this idea 
as a hot new toy for their Happy Meals?

9. Why does Daddy act like the greyhound is the bad guy?  
Daddy wins that title, 
HANDS DOWN!

10. Does hygiene ever play a part in this story?  
Perhaps Little Cutie needs a peroxide bath, 
followed by a fun party at the pediatrician's office 
for rabies shots.  
"It's just like Mommy's Botox, Honey..."

11. And what up with running in the front yard in undies?  
I have a feeling this is not an isolated event...

12.  Yup, this is snarky, but when your flower pots on your front stoop 
look like they last contained plants 
during the Reagan administration 
and the front lawn could double as pasture, 
you gotta wonder if there are chickens out back 
or if the siblings are taking taxidermy as a hobby... 

13. Last one: Do you think Daddy 
is hoping to win $10,000 
on America's Funniest Videos?

Something is rotten in Denmark...

I know... this is somewhat of a diversion 
from my usual, happy recipe sharing blogs, 
but when you look at something that shocks you 
and then makes you laugh in disbelief, 
sometimes you must share it with good friends.  

Wow.  

That was something....

No way I am going to talk food today....  

Back to normal tomorrow...  


Promise.

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