Resolutions do not stick with me. If you are good at living up to yours, bravo. Me, not so much... Like the time, years ago, I decided to work out like a banshee, lose weight, improve my social life and learn a new language. I should have resolved to give up sex, because that one came true... So, the best plan for me is to resolve NOT to accomplish things. Here is my list:
I Will Not...
1. Get a personal trainer...
As much as I might enjoy someone beating my flabby triceps to a pulp
while stealing twenties out of my wallet,
I'll stick to forcing myself out of bed to jog my 1 mile trail around Lakeview
on the third Tuesday of each month when there is no wind, excessive ice or dog walkers on the route......
2, Join Jenny Craig....
Losing weight while eating tasteless food from the freezer, getting weighed or attending a group rates right up there with a root canal for me.
I much prefer a good bout of the flu to drop the pounds.
Perhaps I should hang around Kate's preschool to see what I can pick up.
Martha Stewart raved about a cleanse she did last year and dropped some serious LB's.
Maybe if I am feeling particularly self destructive, fat and spend thrifty I will give it a try.....
This one is easy not to do....
We are broke and hopelessly in debt thanks to the black hole that is our basement.
Only a quick win of the mega millions will fix this.
I hear it's about $300m.... That oughta get us to break even......
What a dream that would be!
If any of you have a linen closet that is neat, labeled, with matching pillowcases lining the shelves
instead of broken computer keyboards, toys, lamps and extra rolls of toilet paper, you are my idol.
If you have kids and do not have Legos stalking every corner of your house, you are a clean freak.
My son received the Lego Death Star for Christmas.
Containing over 3,000 pieces, I am doomed to stepping on Lego's until my AARP card needs renewing......
5. Stay in touch with friends....
Remember those days when your evenings after work were spent
catching up with old friends on the phone?
Now I am lucky if I return a message on Facebook.
I am sure you feel the same daily race to the finish.
By the time the kids are fed, bathed, read to and in bed, and after you do a few loads of wash, clean the dishes, make lunches and straighten up the house, the last thing I want to do is talk.
Top Chef is calling, along with my glass of white.....
Sorry, my friends, I miss you!
6. Read more books.....
Nope.
Since Jack's birth over 8 years ago, I have not read much.
Why? see #5.
Sleep ranks higher.
But, dang it, I love reading. Maybe this is the year..............
7. Drink less....
Are you kidding?
I don't smoke, gamble, chew or read the National Enquirer.
A few glasses of wine, with a little Kahlua Mocha Peppermint thrown in won't send me to AA.
A girl's gotta have something to look forward to when the kid's are raising holy hell at 6pm on a Wednesday night, and Daddy's is out of town for the next 10 days.....
8. Feel less stress......
This one is NOT going to happen...Puhlease!
With the basement disaster ongoing, a growing animal of a company, two kids, family drama, etc etc.,
what person has a life without stress?
While you meditate, breathe deeply, go to your happy place or find your favorite spa, I'll be back at #7.......
9. Spice up the romance.....
Remember that story of the woman to decided to have sex with her husband 365 days a year as a test to see if it improved their marriage?
Her husband sure liked the idea.....
How on earth anyone can accomplish that in the face of kids, work, stress, exhaustion and pure repetition
is beyond me.
I might drop a love note in Tom's lunch, but let's get real.....
It would be nice to make good on this resolution, however, this is another year of austerity.
Perhaps a trip or two to Green Bay may happen,
but the coasts of the Mediterranean are in the distant future.
I'd even count a visit to Kohler as a trip.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Gosh, doing that would fulfill resolutions 8, 9 & 10.
A girl can dream, can't she?
I feel so good about this list, it is almost as if I have accomplished something.....
Love it....I promise to write on your blog now and again...Marianne
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