A Break from Spring...

Just got back from a week down South.... Here's what I learned.....

1. We took a break from spring in Chicago and it was well timed from what Mr. Skilling dished out....

2. April Easters are much warmer than March ones...  It was hot and sunny all week....

3.  Kids think that being picked up at the airport by a nice man in a Lincoln is normal...

4. You and I know the usual mode of transportation is driving to FL in a Ford station wagon, with a coffee can as the mobile restroom....  Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" blared on the am radio as "Ruby Falls" billboards dominated the highway entertainment....good times.....

5. Golf carts are a great way to get around.... even if the governor is set at 22 mph.. 

6. No one cares if you sip your pina colada while driving a golf cart home from the pool....unless you weave into the grass....not that I have done that.....Didn't Bill Murray get a golf cart DUI in Stockholm?  Wow...he must have been toasted.....

7. 50 spf might as well be baby oil in FL in April.  The kids were bathed in it repeatedly and still have peel-y noses...

8. No matter how many baggies of pretzels, crackers, baby carrots, cut up apples, dry cereal or cookies you have in your beach bag, it is never enough....especially 20 minutes after a big lunch of chicken planks, steak fries and a Coke.

9.  I suck at golf....and will always suck.  It's still fun to be out on the fairway, pretending I know what I am doing.....

10. If one kids wants to play at the beach, the other will most certainly whine to be at the pool...without fail....

11. If one kid wants to surf  the rip current, the other is deathly afraid of a drop of seawater touching her toes and WILL NOT get into the water....without fail....

12.  Give your kid a smoothie ONCE in 5 years and they will remember it every afternoon around 1pm or when any other kid within a 500 yd radius gets one.  They can smell them like sea gulls smell potato chips from neighboring counties.  They will whine and pester you until you give in and add a planter's punch for your own salvation.  Not like that has happened to me or anything......

13.  Captured geckos don't like to be shaken in plastic toys when caught.  They tend to die.....

14.  If your son happens to accompany you on his grandmother's bike while you are jogging, remember to make him wear a helmet.  It might lessen the glares you will receive.  Just sayin'.....

15.  Do not get into the pool with your kids unless you enjoy being a tree monkey.  The size or number of your children is meaningless...they will collectively cling to you until you either drown or leave the pool.  They will cry and beg you to return to the pool, but do not unless  you like having your top ripped off, your glasses sunk to the bottom and your hair matted to your head. 

16.  Marco Polo is a game to be outlawed.  Why won't it go away?!  Also, peer pressure is the best way to guilt your kid into swimming.  Works every time.....

17.  There are those in America who are so worldly...they wear bikinis just like the Western Europeans, with no regard to modesty.  Let it all hang out, Sistah!

18.  Getting a family portrait is like scaling Mt. Everest.  It is a long and difficult endeavor that should generally NOT be taken....

19.  Dining with children should also not be attempted, unless it is performed at 5pm sharp, with serious adult beverages offered.  Any sort of wait, unusual menu or required decorum on the behalf of the minors is asking for serious pain and suffering....

20.  If I could have stayed another week, I would have.....It was a blast!