Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Programming the Thingy...

 
 
I used to be so independent... 
 
Years ago, as a single girl,
I could navigate anywhere if I had a map... 
 
 People, this was before GPS and Caller ID... 
 
I found my way around New York,
rural New Mexico, Kauai or the streets of Milan,
alone and fully self sufficient... 
 
I paid all my bills, on time,
balancing my check register
(remember those?)
to the penny... 
 
 If something broke, I fixed it,
or if desperate, I asked my dad to help... 
 
 I was "That Girl", dammit and I was proud
of my autonomous, working girl status... 
 
Fast forward fifteen years or so
and my, how things have changed... 
 
Some repairs, around the Herlihy house, 
are gender based, but not all... 
 
However, I must reluctantly admit
that I have become reliant on T$ for many things,
and, if I pushed myself a little harder,
I could complete many projects myself... 
 
Such as small fix-it jobs,
like nailing heavy objects on the wall... 
 
I can use a stud finder and level like any jamoke,
but Tom does such a good job
of ensuring not even an 8.0 quake on the Richter Scale
 will budge said item,
that I ask him to do it... 
 
When the light bulbs expire, twelve feet up,
T$ hops up on the ladder
and saves the day... 
 
Televisions and computers are a serious no-fly zone for me,
but if T$ were out of the country for a month
and the TV broke down Day One of his trip,
I had better figure it out
before the kids come after me with machetes...    
 
 We both have our strengths,
and we determined that early on... 
 
 If it needs to be cooked, cleaned, organized
or nursed back to health, that's my department... 
 
If it has instructions, blinking lights, remotes
 or an engine, it is all T$... 
 
This week, our new tenant moved
into our apartment unit... 
 
She is a dear friend whom I have known many years,
so it is like having my sister downstairs... 
 
It is a dream come true, really... 
 
In preparation for her arrival,
 I learned we did not have a spare garage door opener
for her use...
 
It meant that I must program the button
on my car to open the door... 
 
OMG...that caused me to have to open the glove box,
motions saved only for finding the lost registration
or an insurance card... 
 
Who really pulls out the owners manual anyway?! 
 
Jeezus...the manual was thicker than a phone book! 
 
Somewhere, on Page 42-g, I found the instructions
 (bells and whistles scream, "T$'s Jurisdiction!!!")... 
 
I stopped hyperventilating
and tried to read without skimming... 
 
Step One: Hold the hand remote close
to the Transmission Button... 
 
Step Two:  Press both the remote and Transmission Button
at the same time for five to nine seconds... 
 
This is assuming I am thusly coordinated...
 
Transmission light should show a fast blink.... 
 
Now what the hell is a fast blink
versus a perhaps medium blink?! 
 
Step Three:  In the garage is the ceiling mounted
Transmission Unit
 
 Push the "Learn" button, then run like hell into the car
and press the Transmission Button for two seconds... 
 
I went into the garage,
which right now is infested
with some spider party... 
 
Brushing away years of dust and cobwebs
from the thingy on the ceiling,
I could not, for the life of me, find this "Learn" button. 
 
I was about to "Learn" to swat it down from the ceiling
with a baseball bat... 
 
After pulling off the lightbulb cover, sending clouds of some disgusting fine dirt
all over myself, I discovered a tiny, lavender button,
 microscopically labeled, "Learn"... 
 
At this point, Jack was roped into the project... 
 
I needed some testosterone
to give me machine-related super powers... 
 
Tentatively, I pushed the "Learn" button
and then shouted down to Jack
to press the Transmission Button...
 
The garage door smoothly dropped to close... 
 
I was euphoric, joyous, ecstatic! 
 
Without my man about the house,
I overcame my fear of programming anything,
and I got the job done... 
 
Now I know why men like this kind of stuff... 
 
This gratification feeling is pretty damn good! 
 
Jack and I accomplished something... 
 
Now every time I drive down the alley
and press that little Transmission Button,
I will feel good, knowing I made it work... 
 
As Jack says, it's the little things that count... 
 
So are we totally self sufficient without T$? 
 
 No way... 
 
He had to talk me off of the ledge this morning,
all the way from Dubai, to help me straighten out the computer
Jack managed to screw up in 30 seconds flat... 
 
But let's just say that we are making do
and figuring out challenges when we have to... 
 
It is a good lesson in keeping your skill set broad,
so to speak... 
 
Because sometimes you have to do it yourself... 
 
Our Sonos system stopped working
the moment T$ boarded his plane,
so we are a home without music for a while now... 
 
Please come back soon, Honey! 
 
I miss cooking to Thievery Corporation!

1 comment:

  1. Hey! :)

    We just launched Chicago bookoo - it's a massive online yard sale for Chicago and surrounding areas.- Thousands of people buying and selling used stuff from each other, in a fun, family-friendly way! :)

    We're getting the word out to some local bloggers, and would like to send you a free bookoo t-shirt (no strings attached!). If you would like a free t-shirt, will you send me an email at kellin@bookoo.com with your address and shirt size? I'll get it out to you right away!

    Check out the website:

    http://chicago.bookoo.com/


    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete