Glitter

After this last Valentine card making session, only Liberace
has more glitter strewn about his home than I do....

 Never leave the room when kids have free access to glitter... 

It's as if they fling it in the air with abandon,
set free from the boundaries of school crafting rules... 

Taking flight in the freedom to open the glitter vial
with gusto and set it to the winds.... 


The vacuum literally whooshed with the volume
of that colored powder of light into the bag,
there was so much clinging to the dining room rug... 

Now I know why one of my friends
has banned the substance in her home...

For years hence I will see that extra light in Tom's eyes
and realize it is a fleck of gold glitter stuck to his cheekbone... 

Our hair will resemble Glinda the Good Witch
as we sparkle and float out of the house... 

Things might get a little tough at the old armored car factory
if the guys notice the shiny glints coming off Tom's work jacket... 

But, I suppose a house without glitter lacks some luster... 

I'd rather have a twinkle on my sweater
than not let the kids gild the cards and ornaments... 

It's like dog hair....kind of a nuisance, but worth it... 

I can't deny my love of glitter... 

In the words of, whom else but Paris Hilton,

"Some girls are just born with glitter in their veins!"

Keepin' It Real...

My apologies for the radio silence lately...

It's been a week and it was all I could do to keep from ripping my hair out
or eating a box of HoHo's... 

Here's what I learned last week:

1. Lice are like homing pigeons;
They love little girls with long blonde hair...

2. 15 loads of laundry and two Rid/mayonnaise/vinegar hair treatments aren't funny
the second time around, either...

3. When installing a new TV on the wall, make sure it's the correct wall
before your husband/handyman hard wires it in place. 
They don't take kindly to asking them to relocate it....

4.  New TV's throw the whole universe out of whack...
Suddenly you must redecorate the whole room... 
Where is Nate Berkus when I need him?!

5. Converting a TV cabinet into a craft cabinet sounds good on paper,
but it creates a huge mess
and is costly to organize...

6. Never tell a nine year old boy he can't help use the cordless screwdriver...
he will bare his fangs....

7.  Go ahead and let them help;
they are handier than given credit for...

8. Remember that when wine tasting it is good to eat beforehand
or Mr. Hangover will beat you over the head with a silver hammer...

9. Speaking of intoxication: Letting your spouse wander the silent auction aisles,
at the school fundraiser, Patron in hand and unsupervised
will yield surprising prizes.... 

Like five lessons in pole dancing...

10: Those lessons will be here. 
Perhaps I'll choose the strip tease class instead...

Valentines Day is whispering in our ears.  Most years I have a small gathering of like minded (wine drinking) friends over to make some cards for our favorite people.  This year will be more of that buffoonery.  Below is a fun non card craft for those of you with little girls in your lives.  It's quick, easy and fun!

Adoily-able T-shirt

by Catherine Newman, Photographs by Ed Judice 

 

Materials

• prewashed t-shirt
• doily
• glue stick

• newspaper
• fabric paint
• foam stencil brush

Instructions

1. Place newspaper inside a prewashed T-shirt so that the paint won't bleed through.
   
2. Coat the center of the back of a doily with a thin layer of glue stick. Press the doily onto the shirt, sticky side down.
   
3. Pour fabric paint into a shallow dish. Using a foam stencil brush, dab fabric paint all over the lacy part of the doily as shown.*
   
4. Carefully peel the doily from the shirt, then let the paint dry. Set the paint according to the manufacturer's instructions.
   

Tips:

* For the best results, use a toothpick to remove those stubborn paper bits from the holes of the doily before using it. When painting, don't overload the brush, and tap it straight up and down onto the shirt.

Alien Abduction...

What alien, in the name of My Favorite Martian,
abducted my children overnight
and substituted angelic likenesses of them in their places? 

Last night they were tired, crabby urchins
with dried catsup on their cheeks
and a stinky funk that can only be described
as eau du smelly sock, or bouquet of dragon breath... 

Their demeanors were ill tempered,
flaring up at the slightest prevocation... 

Now those are my offspring! 

But this morning as I was saddled
with the usual migraine routine
I have lovingly embraced for the last thirty odd years,
two beaming kids emerged from the kitchen,
bearing breakfast in bed... 

Wait...

It was not Mother's Day nor my birthday...

What was this?? 

What a joy to have such a nice surprise..

I was kind of dreading yet another no school day... 

It's like school is a hobby with CPS.... 

Too many days off, I say! 

Anyway, this pleasant alien duo managed
to continue to maintain a sweet as pie attitude
as they helped me mop the floors,
clean bathrooms,
vacuum,
organize the CD collection and dust... 

I was starting to get worried....

THESE ARE NOT MY KIDS! 

To reward these kind space creatures
for their amiable countenances and helpful natures,
I took them to i Cream, a fun, design it yourself ice cream shop... 

You can choose the soy or dairy,
the flavor,
mix-ins and color of the ice cream... 

They freeze it up with this cryogenic thing a mabob and,  voila'! 

Ice cream! 

Alien Jack got green coffee with chocolate bits... 

Alien Kate chose purple vanilla... 

Mysteriously those darn extraterrestrials switched them back
when I was not looking
and the ornery versions have returned from galaxies unknown... 

Oh well, that's okay....

I kind of like the smudgy faces and mischievous looks... 

I'm used to it....

Buckling Down...

Yep, January is generally the month of deprivation and self flagellation, huh? 

Hitting those resolutions hard,
sweating in the cold air,
eating celery while the cheesy potato soup taunts you from Panera's menu board....

Hopefully you are sticking to your resolutions,
whatever they may be.... 

Hang in there! 

I decided to do The Clean Program again... 

November and December were food free-for-alls around here... 

I ate like it was my last day....

Why just have one brownie
when there is the equivalent of four more in broken pieces in the pan? 

I was like the family dog, finishing plates and going for seconds.... 

The madness had to stop... 

So I had my own personal intervention
when the fat jeans started to fit again... 

I have to say, Clean a second time around is harder,
because you know what you are in for... 

Gnawing hunger,
the monotony of shakes day after day,
and a VERY limited choice of approved lunchtime foods... 

Even the support group online didn't make the time pass faster... 

I made it 17 out of the suggested 21 days
and I lost 10 pounds,
so in the end it was worth it... 

The breaking point came this morning
when I made a mango pineapple shake... 

The pineapple was stringy in the shake
and the mouthfeel was too disgusting for words...

That was it... 

I lunged for the Cheerios
and had a luscious bowl of cereal... 

Amazing how the most simple of foods feel
like luxury when deprived of them.... 

I then broke the cleanse in spectacular fashion... 

More about that later... 

The other way I buckled down this January 
was my quest to get my real estate broker's license.... 

The state of Illinois is doing away with all salesperson's licenses
as of April 2012 and everyone must convert to broker by then... 

It's a pain in the neck, requiring a course
if you don't pass the proficiency test.... 

I put it off for over a year, but finally spent much of the last two weeks
studying the driest laws, terminology and scenarios ever... 

I think the study of hairballs might be a close second.... 

Today was the dreaded test.... 

Thank goodness it was easy... 

After I passed and left the office,
I headed straight to Burger King... 

Whopper Jr. and Onion Rings, please! 

There's no easing back into eating for me...

No sir! 

And dang if it wasn't soooo good! 

So, I'm back among those who eat... 

I will be more forthcoming with some tasty recipes, now that I can actually try them... 

My kids will be happy, too. 

Mama did not feel like cooking when her dinner was a mango pineapple shake...

To share my exhuberance at returning to the world of culinary sanity,
here are a few recipes from my friend Gretta, that look marvelous...

Smashed Potato Soup

Confetti Rice Crispy Treats

Roasted Butter Lemon Shrimp

Butterfinger Blondies


And tonight I will be capping off bustin' the cleanse by going out with a friend for some good wine...

Salut!!

Pinterest

I've found a new black hole....

It sucks up more than its share of my time...

Nooo, it is not Farmville, Call of Duty nor My Little Pet Shop... 

I have just discovered Pinterest... 

Surely most of you have been there before me,
but I am slow on the uptake sometimes.... 

Pinterest has crossed my path over Facebook,

but I didn't have the time to peruse,
so I moved on... 

Now that I have found it,
I am hooked... 

It's endless and captivating and mouthwatering... 

So many good ideas from so many interesting people... 

One friend has a food board that sends me reeling....
all those delicious recipes... 

Another has such gorgeous outfits put together....

Makes me want to wear them! 

You can find boards for anything...

French bulldogs,
anything pink,
Valentine's Day stuff,
mustard....
you name it! 

And you can create your own unique boards... 

What a cool website! 

I should be studying for my broker's exam right now,
the laundry is piled sky high
and my house looks like fifteen trolls spent the night,

But I......    

CAN'T    

PULL    

MYSELF   

AWAY... 

Help! 

Is there a support group for Pinterest?

I am making this for dinner (no cheese, though).  Yep, found it on Pinterest.....

Slow Cooker Parmesan Honey Pork Roast Recipe

It's hard to make slow-cooked food look pretty . . . and this pork seriously fell apart when I tried to take it out of the slow cooker!

So don't judge this by it's picture . . . I promise that this recipe is delicious! My husband even said that this is one of his favorite Sunday dinners.

Ingredients:

1 (2-3 pound) boneless pork roast
2/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup honey
3 Tbsp soy sauce
2 Tbsp dried basil
2 Tbsp minced garlic
2 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp salt
2 Tbsp cornstarch
1/4 cup cold water

Spray slow cooker with non-stick cooking spray. Place roast in slow cooker. In a small bowl, combine the cheese, honey, soy sauce, basil, garlic, oil and salt; pour over pork. Cover and cook on low for 6-7 hours or until a meat thermometer reads 160°.
Remove meat to a serving platter; keep warm. Skim fat from cooking juices; transfer to a small saucepan. Bring liquid to a boil. Combine cornstarch and water until smooth. Gradually stir into pan. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Slice roast; serve with gravy (I also made mashed potatoes and the gravy was delicious on them!).

Recipe adapted from Everyday Tastes

Sunday Morning Hockey...

What, in the Wide World of Sports was I thinking when I signed Jack up for Sunday morning hockey?!

7:00 am on SUNDAY?? 

I realize there are those hockey diehards who play at all kinds of crazy hours,
but in the back of my mind, I thought my husband,
who played hockey as a kid,
would be in charge of this one.... 

Little did I remember that the man travels... a lot. 

So while he is jetting home from Frankfurt this morning,
probably sipping a mimosa from his business class seat,
I am awakened at 5:45 am by a very alert son,
who is noisily bedecking himself in hockey gear... 

Hmmm...where would I rather be....

Between the warm and snuggly flannel sheets or slogging a massive hockey bag
across the ice covered parking lot
before the sun rises? 

Tough choice, I know... 

I am a glutton for punishment.... 

At least we planned ahead and laid out all the gear
on Jack's bedroom floor last night... 

There would be no last minute, "Where's my cup?!"
or panicked searches for an elbow pad... 

I even made the kids breakfast burritos last night
in anticipation of a breakfast rush... 

Yeah...where's my halo....  

Poor Kate, who is starting a cold,
was the real trooper of the morning, hauling herself out of bed,
into clothes and into cold weather gear... 

At he rink, she perked up and even made a new friend
as we watched the boys scrimmage for an hour... 

I made a friend, too,
so I guess it was worth it... 

Tommy, beware, that I am counting on you for the rest of these Sundays... 

I can handle all the other ferrying around ,
but Sunday is YOURS, Babe...

'Scuse me, but I'm going back to bed now....

I did not make this breakfast burrito...
Mine was simply fried sausage, scrambled eggs and some cheese inside a tortilla. 
Here is Ree's version....way tastier!