Programming the Thingy...

 

 

I used to be so independent... 

 

Years ago, as a single girl,

I could navigate anywhere if I had a map... 

 

 People, this was before GPS and Caller ID... 

 

I found my way around New York,

rural New Mexico, Kauai or the streets of Milan,

alone and fully self sufficient... 

 

I paid all my bills, on time,

balancing my check register

(remember those?)

to the penny... 

 

 If something broke, I fixed it,

or if desperate, I asked my dad to help... 

 

 I was "That Girl", dammit and I was proud

of my autonomous, working girl status... 

 

Fast forward fifteen years or so

and my, how things have changed... 

 

Some repairs, around the Herlihy house, 

are gender based, but not all... 

 

However, I must reluctantly admit

that I have become reliant on T$ for many things,

and, if I pushed myself a little harder,

I could complete many projects myself... 

 

Such as small fix-it jobs,

like nailing heavy objects on the wall... 

 

I can use a stud finder and level like any jamoke,

but Tom does such a good job

of ensuring not even an 8.0 quake on the Richter Scale

 will budge said item,

that I ask him to do it... 

 

When the light bulbs expire, twelve feet up,

T$ hops up on the ladder

and saves the day... 

 

Televisions and computers are a serious no-fly zone for me,

but if T$ were out of the country for a month

and the TV broke down Day One of his trip,

I had better figure it out

before the kids come after me with machetes...    

 

 We both have our strengths,

and we determined that early on... 

 

 If it needs to be cooked, cleaned, organized

or nursed back to health, that's my department... 

 

If it has instructions, blinking lights, remotes

 or an engine, it is all T$... 

 

This week, our new tenant moved

into our apartment unit... 

 

She is a dear friend whom I have known many years,

so it is like having my sister downstairs... 

 

It is a dream come true, really... 

 

In preparation for her arrival,

 I learned we did not have a spare garage door opener

for her use...

 

It meant that I must program the button

on my car to open the door... 

 

OMG...that caused me to have to open the glove box,

motions saved only for finding the lost registration

or an insurance card... 

 

Who really pulls out the owners manual anyway?! 

 

Jeezus...the manual was thicker than a phone book! 

 

Somewhere, on Page 42-g, I found the instructions

 (bells and whistles scream, "T$'s Jurisdiction!!!")... 

 

I stopped hyperventilating

and tried to read without skimming... 

 

Step One: Hold the hand remote close

to the Transmission Button... 

 

Step Two:  Press both the remote and Transmission Button

at the same time for five to nine seconds... 

 

This is assuming I am thusly coordinated...

 

Transmission light should show a fast blink.... 

 

Now what the hell is a fast blink

versus a perhaps medium blink?! 

 

Step Three:  In the garage is the ceiling mounted

Transmission Unit. 

 

 Push the "Learn" button, then run like hell into the car

and press the Transmission Button for two seconds... 

 

I went into the garage,

which right now is infested

with some spider party... 

 

Brushing away years of dust and cobwebs

from the thingy on the ceiling,

I could not, for the life of me, find this "Learn" button. 

 

I was about to "Learn" to swat it down from the ceiling

with a baseball bat... 

 

After pulling off the lightbulb cover, sending clouds of some disgusting fine dirt

all over myself, I discovered a tiny, lavender button,

 microscopically labeled, "Learn"... 

 

At this point, Jack was roped into the project... 

 

I needed some testosterone

to give me machine-related super powers... 

 

Tentatively, I pushed the "Learn" button

and then shouted down to Jack

to press the Transmission Button...

 

The garage door smoothly dropped to close... 

 

I was euphoric, joyous, ecstatic! 

 

Without my man about the house,

I overcame my fear of programming anything,

and I got the job done... 

 

Now I know why men like this kind of stuff... 

 

This gratification feeling is pretty damn good! 

 

Jack and I accomplished something... 

 

Now every time I drive down the alley

and press that little Transmission Button,

I will feel good, knowing I made it work... 

 

As Jack says, it's the little things that count... 

 

So are we totally self sufficient without T$? 

 

 No way... 

 

He had to talk me off of the ledge this morning,

all the way from Dubai, to help me straighten out the computer

Jack managed to screw up in 30 seconds flat... 

 

But let's just say that we are making do

and figuring out challenges when we have to... 

 

It is a good lesson in keeping your skill set broad,

so to speak... 

 

Because sometimes you have to do it yourself... 

 

Our Sonos system stopped working

the moment T$ boarded his plane,

so we are a home without music for a while now... 

 

Please come back soon, Honey! 

 

I miss cooking to Thievery Corporation!