Stuff My Family Says...

 Earlier this year, Pinterest clued me into a fun way 

to jot down the silly stuff kids say....  

I found a large canning jar 

and placed it near a colorful note pad.  

Anytime the kids or we tossed out something funny, 

we made a point of writing it down...  

The idea was that after a whole year 

of collecting these crack up moments, 

they would be read aloud on New Year's Eve...  

So, over some Eli's Cheesecake for dessert, 

we read what we had noted over the year...  

Here are some of the favorites...

Jack: "Sunny side up eggs that you flip over are called 

"Nite Time Eggs, Mom!"

Mom: "Jack is standing next to Michael Jordan

 at the Ryder Cup!"

Kate:  "Who is Michael Jordan?"

Jack: "If you two don't stop kissing, 

I am going to vomit my organs out!"

"How was your first CCD, Kate?"

Kate: "Good, they told us about how Jesus was killed."

Kate:  "It's okay to have red warts, Mom.  

Witches have the black warts."

Kate, mad at Jack, "I wish he lived in the suburbs, 

without us!"

Tom: "Babe, you just might see that spark 

in my eye sometimes..."

Lori: "It's not like sighting Bigfoot; 

It's there ALL the time!"

Mom: "Kate, if you were a snack food, 

what would you be?"

Kate: "A HoHo..."

Mom: "This bread tastes like Heaven!"

Kate: "No, it doesn't!  

Heaven doesn't taste like anything!"

Kate: "Kids who do graffiti go to Juvie..."

Jack: "Valentines Day is for fools!"

Kate:  "When you make my oatmeal, 

don't put any food in it..."

Dad: "Jack, what two languages are spoken in Canada?"

Jack: "English and Canadian."

Jack: "Spinach is a little kid nightmare!"

Dad: "What's in the woods over there?"

Jack: "Crops."

Dad: "Crap?!"

Jack: "No, Crops, well it could be crap.  

Actually, that little girl just took a crap in the woods."

(Conversation while camping this summer...)

Mom: "We are going to a Honey Boo Boo redneck party."

Jack: "How are you going to dress up 

with red necks and pimples?"

Kate: "When you get a brain freeze, touch your tongue 

to the ceiling of your mouth."

Kate, after the block party, 

"Holy Schneikies, that was a good party!"

Lori, complaining about her blog, 

"I have the Pong of blogs!"

And the last one.....

Jack, looking at his cornmeal pancakes,  

"Cornmeal isn't supposed to have CORN in it!

We loved reading the notes collected over the year

 and plan to do it again for 2013.....

It's Not a Competition, Is It?

It is the end of the year... 

Time to squeeze in all the doctor visits 

while the deductible has been fulfilled....  

Internist, dentist, dermatologist, gyn, etc....  

So I scheduled my husband for all his applicable examinations, 

hoping he would show up for them 

and I set up the same for me...  

T$ met with Dr. Lio, an excellent dermatologist, 

who gave his epidermis a good look over 

and proceeded to excise four interesting looking bumps...  

The hubby is blessed with a whole plethora of mole types, so I was glad to 

A: have the most suspicious ones removed and 

B: learn that all of them were benign...  

Dr. Lio looked me over next 

and took off one shoulder mole 

that has pestered me for ages....

It was no biggie...  

And then T$ fasted 

and had the old fashioned annual physical 

with the requisite bloodwork...  

Two days later, his doc called him...  

"Mr. Herlihy, your numbers are a little concerning, 

so I thought I'd give you a call

 to talk them over,"    

Here are your stats:  

Cholesterol 244, 

Good Cholesterol: 59, 

LDL Cholesterol: 152, 

Trigylcerides: 165....  

"You need to adjust your diet 

and exercise regimen accordingly..."  

First thing T$ did was mention 

that I like to cook with butter...  

Talk about placing the blame!  

Even though I often make his lunch, 

I took offense at being the crux of his internal health...  

After all, was I supposed to be the angel 

on his shoulder those days 

when he swings through Burger King 

for a breakfast biscuit 

or a double fried chicken sandwich and fries?  

Was I supposed to be the cattle prod 

that made him exercise?  

Did I force him to have another beer, 

for Pete's sake?    

I will admit that I love to cook 

and my recipe choices 

would not be in any diet cookbook...  

Paula, Ree and Trisha are my friends, 

after all, and I do love comfort food 

like any good Midwestern girl....

No good party is without cream cheese...

Damn, changes would have to be made, 

for the health of my man... 

More poached/broiled/fat-free menus 

are in my future... 

The truth hurts...   

And THEN, I went in for my annual physical...  

Same routine, except that I did not have to turn and cough....

haha!  

My blood was drawn...  

And I waited...  

Would I have such high numbers?  

Would Lipitor be in my future?  

Today my doctor called me with the results...  

Cholesterol: 175, 

Good Cholesterol 70, 

LDL: 89, 

Triglycerides: 82...  

"Your numbers are excellent, perfect!" 

chirped my internist...  

I couldn't help the smug grin 

that spread across my face...  

Butter you say?!  

Fattening food, hmmm?  

The urge to gloat took over, 

because my cooking was being blamed for T$'s condition....  

And then I realized that our bodies are different...  

The numbers are what they are 

and even though my chemistry performs well on my diet, 

my husband's behaves differently...  

Regardless, I must adjust our meals 

to benefit his body...  

So, January will be the start of lighter, less fatty dishes...  

And, I will be dragging him out to exercise, 

no matter how much he protests...  

For Better, for Worse, and he may think the worse of me 

until his numbers and waistline shrinks...  

It's all in the name of love...

Twelve Days of Gratitude...

Amidst all the shopping, wrapping, balancing of loot 

we are reminded to be grateful 

for our bounty in life...

Especially after this weekend of heartbreak and sorrow,
our thoughts and prayers are in Connecticut...

I read a prayer posted by The Pioneer Woman, and it felt right...

Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Everyone has some personal battle they are waging, 

be it emotional, financial, 

physical or whatever...

 We all must find comfort in what 

we do possess that is good...  

Like me, most of you have much to be thankful for 

and it is for that reason we should remember 

those who are not as fortunate...  

It is so easy to get caught up in the latest Groupon 

for race car driving experiences 

or finding that sought after video game 

for our kids for Christmas...  

And our kids, in their excitement to receive presents, 

can lose sight of the reason for the season 

and that Christmas is more about giving than getting...  

I decided the kids were old enough to begin 

to experience ways to give back...

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. 

-Aesop

So we signed up with Chicago Cares...  

This organization pairs people up 

with volunteering opportunities 

with a very flexible attitude...  

You peruse the schedule of volunteer activities 

and sign up for what works for you...  

It can be a one shot deal 

or a weekly/regular visit...  

On a recent Monday evening, Jack and I 

visited a local nursing home..  

We were paired up with a dog owner 

and we went room to room, 

visiting the residents and sharing Digby, the Yorkie, with them...  

At first, Jack was not with the program...  

He did not like the unfamiliar surroundings 

and he was not sure what to do 

with these seniors in hospital beds...  

But once he saw how their eyes lit up 

when that little Yorkie doggie jumped on their beds, 

he warmed up, too...  

They fed Digby treats 

and talked about lots of things...

One elderly Russian guy talked to Jack, rapid-fire...

"When you gonna cut that hair?!"

"You get good grades in school, huh??" 

I think the experience was a positive one...  

He told his dad he had fun...

It was important for him to see that life 

is not just play dates and video games with buddies...  

And this volunteering thing 

is just the beginning... 

 It's time to give back a little...

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act 

is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.

-Gandhi

With that in mind, I decided to put together 

a project for after Christmas...  

Life is too crazy right now, 

what with school concerts, 

frantic searches for the last few gifts 

and the spritz cookie dough 

that is languishing in the fridge, 

waiting to be baked.... 

Once the wrappings have been discarded,

 the toys have found new homes in their bedrooms 

and the New Year's poppers have been swept away, 

it will be time to show some gratitude...  

Time to perform random acts of kindness...  

I have created The Twelve Days of Gratitude...  

This is a sheet of 12 kind deeds your kids can perform, 

one per day...  

The idea is to print out the page, 

cut the boxes into 12 pieces 

and then stuff them into a box, jar or hat...  

Click Here to Print...

Pick a convenient starting date 

in early January...

Each morning, your kids will pick a slip out of the jar 

and find out what their good deed of the day is...  

If you have more than two kids, 

you might want to make up some more deeds 

to add to the jar...  

My hope is that my children 

will gain as big a reward from their thoughtful acts 

as the receiver of the benevolent gesture...

And certainly, the world could use
a little more kindness these days...

If all goes well, 

Twelve Days of Gratitude 

may become a tradition.

Also, from Lisa and her Shine Your Light blog,
some more good ideas...
Click on the image to enlarge the print...

Balancing the Pile...

 
While at home for Christmas break during college,
I experienced a surprise... 

It was our first Christmas in Florida,
after having lived in Moline, Illinois
for the better part of 18 years. 

My dad took a new job after John Deere laid him
and untold thousands off in 1985
and we were off to greener and warmer pastures... 

I felt a little homesick for my old buddies,
but the newness of a hot, humid holiday
proved to be a good distraction... 

The neighbors lit up their homes,
in Griswold fashion,
perhaps to over compensate
for the lack of snow... 

Yard flamingos, blazing with tiny lights,
were the fashion then... 

So it was Christmas... 

Mom was doing her best to recreate
those cherished memories
of our dear home up north... 

She made our favorite treats,
festooned the tree with our beloved ornaments
and she shopped up a storm... 

I am not sure if it is a Scandinavian tradition
or a Benson tradition,
but we always opened the majority
of our non-Santa gifts on Christmas Eve... 

And so, full of eggnog and merriment,
Tony Bennett and Lou Rawls caroling on the stereo,
we commenced with gift giving... 

After a while,
I noticed that my brother, Erik's,
present pile towered over mine... 

Surely there was more under the tree for me... 

After all, girls are easier to shop for, right?  

It soon became disappointingly clear
that I got the short end of the stick... 

It was curious because my mom
had always been very fair and generous
with us kids... 

Had I been a bad girl? 

Had Santa ratted me out to Mom? 

Damn it, Santa, I wasn't THAT drunk
at the Pike party
and even though I got a C in Chemistry,
I studied my ass off! 

Now, I sound like a spoiled little girl,
grousing about her Christmas presents
or lack thereof,
but you can ask my mom... 

It was a small pile of presents that year... 

My poor mother panicked... 

She could not believe she had
shorted me so much.... 

Mother felt so bad that she ran to Walgreens
the next morning
and scoured the aisles
to find something, ANYTHING, for me.... 

It was awkward.... 

And now it is happening to me... 

Today I did gift reconciliation
to get a good view of what has been purchased
for all of our loved ones... 

Spreading the items out on our bed,
I realized something...

 Jack is getting stiffed, big time! 

Crap, how did this happen?! 

I have been shopping since September,
parceling out the costs,
using a list,
 watching my budget,
paying only cash... 

Holy Rip Off, Batman,
Jack is getting a big stack of Not So Much! 

Part of the explanation is that
it is whole lot easier and budget friendly
to shop for a six year old girl... 

She is thrilled with a new sleeping bag
or a doll from Aldi... 

A ten year old boy wants electronics
and other impossibly high ticket items... 

You can't find an XBox game at Aldi, I tell you...

I looked...

Plus, a big stuffed teddy bear
has way more bang for the buck
than a little set of headphones
that cost twice as much...  

And so now I am the panicked mother,
grasping for gifting straws,
yet still shackled to limited funds... 

For the love of Cupid, Comet and Blitzen,
please help me out with gift ideas
that have Santa Approved curb appeal
for less than the cost of a Mini Cooper....

Honestly, please comment with suggestions...

I could use some good ideas...

My kids understand that this is a house
with financial limits.... 

I have laid the groundwork with Jack
that his haul will look a lot different
than Kate's because he doesn't want as many kiddie toys
as she does... 

But still, I'd like for his eyes to light up
as he descends the stairs... 

After all, he still BELIEVES
and that is a magic I'd like to perpetuate for
as long as possible...

PS:  A month later, my mom found all my gifts stuffed in her dresser....

Good thing my birthday is in January!
 

Just When I Thought The Cupboard Was Bare...

Does this happen to you?  

It's still a good three days from payday 

and you realize you have 1/2 cup of milk 

in the gallon jug, 

a stale box of Triscuits 

and some two week old hot dogs in the fridge...  

That's about it...  

Yeah, it happens to me often...  

Even David Copperfield can't pull a good meal 

out of a hat in that situation...  

A Lear jet, maybe, 

but a hot, tasty dinner, no way...  

That is when you dig into the far recesses 

of your pantry, freezer and refrigerator, 

desperately seeking anything 

that vaguely resembles kid friendly food 

that does not look like a science experiment....  

Now, I will cut the mold from the cheese 

in pursuit of a grilled cheese sammie 

with the best of them, 

but I draw the line when the jar of marinara 

is encircled in blue fuzz on the rim...  

So, payday is not until later this week 

and I was starting to panic...  

Tuesday nights are easy 

(Breakfast for Dinner...Woo Hoo)...  

I pull out the Bisquick 

and make pancakes with H20 instead of milk...  

But Monday night was a conundrum...  

Other than chorizo in the freezer, 

and I was not in a mood 

to figure out a meal with that, 

there was no protein to be had in the kitchen...  

Go "Meatless Monday!" you say...  

My kids would rather watch a "Nova" marathon 

than eat beans and veggies left 

in the crisper that don't look appealing 

to even a starving rabbit...

Except for one vegetable, 

a week old, hiding toward the back of the crisper drawer; 

cauliflower....    

Now, I love a raw cauliflower floret, 

sprinkled with salt, 

now and then, 

but my kids are not fans...  

I bought it on a whim last week, 

and could not get any takers...  

Subliminally, I must have been thinking 

about a cauliflower soup recipe 

I had torn from a discarded Williams Sonoma catalog...  

And so, mid-dig in the refrigerator, 

I got an idea, 

in Grinch-like fashion, 

a terrible, awful idea....  

I was going to make 

that Williams Sonoma cauliflower soup...  

I was going to make that soup 

and I was going to foist it upon 

my cauliflower-hating family 

as the best unnamed soup 

they had ever tasted...  

What desperate people will do, I say....  

And do you know what happened, Friends?  

I made that soup, 

and the house smelled so heavenly 

it was all I could do 

to not eat it all myself...  

And I served it to my kids 

and they LIKED it!  

And, later, I served it to my husband, 

and by jingle, he LOVED it!  

And I am going to make 

that damn cauliflower soup again 

and SOON!  

So, if you are left with the dregs of edibles 

in your cupboard, 

be brave...  

Don't scrounge for change under the seat cushions 

to snag some Happy Meals...  

Okay, you can do that, I have, 

and God knows you need a break...  

But one time, be the Top Chef that you are 

and make something out of nothing... 

It's strangely rewarding...  

It's like laughing in the face of paucity 

and culinary terror...  

You have prevailed and declared, 

Screw You, Empty Cupboard!  

Okay, I am getting melodramatic...  

But hey, I held off hunger 

and it made me smile...  

Hope you smile today, too!

Here is that fantastic Cauliflower Soup recipe...  

Give it a try...

Creamy Cauliflower Soup with Crispy Pancetta and Gremolata Courtesy of Williams Sonoma

A garnish of crispy pancetta and toasted bread crumbs tossed with parsley and lemon zest transforms this creamy soup into a dish that’s fit for a special meal.  **PS: I did not have bacon/pancetta, but I sauteed the veggies in bacon fat...mmmm!

Ingredients:

• 1 cup fresh bread crumbs
• 4 Tbs. olive oil
• 3 Tbs. chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
• 1 1/2 tsp. lemon zest
• Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste
• 6 oz. pancetta, diced
• 1 yellow onion, diced
• 4 shallots, sliced
• 3 celery stalks, diced
• 1 head cauliflower, trimmed and cut into florets
• 5 cups chicken or vegetable stock, plus more as needed
• 1 Tbs. fresh lemon juice
• 3/4 cup heavy cream (optional)(*Add this!)

Directions:

Preheat an oven to 350°F.

In a small bowl, toss the bread crumbs with 2 Tbs. of the olive oil and transfer to a baking sheet. Bake, stirring occasionally, until the bread crumbs are golden brown and crisp, 15 to 20 minutes. Let cool to room temperature. In a bowl, toss the bread crumbs with the parsley and lemon zest, and season with salt and pepper. Set the gremolata aside.

In a nonstick fry pan over medium heat, cook the pancetta, stirring occasionally, until the fat has rendered and the pancetta is browned and crispy, 8 to 10 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the pancetta to a paper towel-lined plate. Set aside.

In a Dutch oven over medium heat, warm the remaining 2 Tbs. olive oil. Add the onion, shallots and celery and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, 8 to 10 minutes. Add the cauliflower and cook, stirring occasionally, for 1 to 2 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Add the 5 cups stock, increase the heat to medium-high and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium-low, cover and simmer until the cauliflower is tender, about 30 minutes.

Using an immersion blender, (Or regular blender) puree the soup until smooth. Adjust the seasonings with salt and pepper. Add more stock if needed to reach the desired consistency. Stir in the lemon juice and cream. Ladle the soup into warmed bowls. Top with the crispy pancetta and gremolata and serve immediately. Serves 6.

Save The Party!

 

Maybe I am naive....  

Perhaps we are just boorish or annoying...  

Are we not cool enough? 

Do we have halitosis?

I don't get it...

Do you have a full plate of holiday parties 

to attend this year?  

Work parties don't count...  

I'm talking about home soiree's, 

Mad Men cocktail events 

and those Ugly Christmas Sweater bashes...

  

Are you being invited to those?  

Because we aren't...  

We blew our, so to speak, Holiday Event Wad,

this past weekend and have NOTHING going on 

until the Fat Guy shimmies down the chimney...  

When I say nothing, I mean, 

crickets can be heard chirping 

in my Outlook Calendar... 

Back in the day, when I had my big, important corporate job, 

I looked forward to the swank, extravagant holiday party 

the office threw for all five hundred of us 

at the Standard Club... 

Oh, it was fancy schmancy alright, 

with three floors of decadent foods, 

different bands on each level, 

even multi-tiered chocolate fountains, 

gushing forth white, dark and milk chocolate streams of excess...

From the mail room guys to the senior execs, 

everyone dolled up in fine suits and formal dresses 

as we danced in the massive ballroom, 

glasses of champagne in hand...  

With our company's bankruptcy, 

the door slammed shut on the party parade....  

Forever, I am sure...  

But I digress...  

 

What I want to know is 

whether the home Christmas party is dead, 

or am I just not getting invited?    

Tom and I have always thrown parties...

  

It is part of our DNA...  

Both sets of our parents are very social animals, 

having conducted legendary bashes that are still being retold 

as tales of family lore...  

My parents were famous for having Sukiyaki parties 

on their living room floor...

  

 

They had barbecue throw downs in the back yard, 

with tables and flowers and ribs everywhere...  

I used to sit on the top stair at night 

and listen to the inebriated laughter and clink of glassware 

as my folks entertained and celebrated...  

And so Tommy and I have hosted well remembered Halloween parties,

Oscar Night fetes,

HEAT Armor celebrations,

Valentine making events

 and my annual Holiday Craft party...  

It's who we are...  

We love to entertain... 

A friend and I joke that if I didn't throw these events, 

we would have no parties to attend...    

Help me out here...  

Are parties just too much trouble these days?  

Are they too expensive?  

Time consuming?  

Daunting?  

Has Martha Stewart ruined it for the Average Jane?  

Is "Jane" too intimidated to conceive of choosing invitations, 

decorations and recipes to host a party?  

Is it that hard??? 

I will concede that I have the party hosting thing down, 

but practice makes perfect... 

Here are my thoughts on the subject 

as it pertains to objections to having a party...  

"It's too expensive."  

Well, it can be if you invite your entire zip code 

and choose only top shelf liquor, 

caterers and flowers from Madagascar...  

We have friends who had a monster Christmas party every year 

that people prayed they would be invited to...  

They threw an amazing event, 

 tables groaning with incredible food, 

a  one armed bartender and  a music/light system 

that rivaled Studio 54...

But the toll it took on them each year 

got to be too much...  

We miss that party, sorely...

Tommy and I are not in a financial position 

to be throwing parties of any scale these days, 

but I insisted because,

A: We could use some comic relief, 

and B: You CAN throw a great party on a dime...  

The crafts I chose had elements 

found at the Dollar Store or the craft store...  

I used coupons... 

I repurposed things I had around the house...  

I let friends help out...  

Usually the first thing a guest asks 

when invited to a party is,  "What can I bring?" 

Instead of smiling and demurring, 

"Oh, nothing...", let them bring a bottle of wine 

or an appetizer, 

or a part of the craft project, in my case.  

They feel good about contributing 

and it helps save a little dough...  

I kept things simple, too... 

Just wine and soda to drink...  

The party started later so I only needed 

to provide small bites to eat instead of dinner...  

It works, Friends!  

Another objection is,

 "Parties are so much work!"  

Well, they are a little more work than a play date, yes, 

but if you PLAN (key word), the party set up is a snap... 

I began collecting the project ingredients and foodstuffs 

a month in advance, 

to spread out my costs...  

About a week before the event, 

I started cleaning and setting up tables, etc.

  

I did a little bit each day 

so by the afternoon of the party, 

all I had to do was assemble the food and beverages.  

My mom always said you eat the elephant one bite at a time, 

and she is right!  

Another complaint is how to choose 

what to eat, drink, etc. 

Pinterest is so good for that...  

I found most of my appetizer ideas from Pinterest...  

They were simple, delicious bites 

that were inexpensive and easy to create... 

Done!  

Don't be intimidated by fancy parties...  

 

Your friends aren't judging you...  

They are happy to come over 

and to share a laugh...  

They love to feel included 

and who doesn't enjoy a great party?  

Start by inviting four or six friends over for pizza and salad...

Play a board game or watch a hot new show together...

Baby steps...

The more you entertain, the more comfortable it becomes 

and you will find great reward 

in seeing people have a good time...  

We get a kick out of having parties 

and I wish more people would entertain, too...  

 

 Then, maybe we might get invited...

That is, unless we really are that annoying...