Would you rather...

Would you rather takeyour kids to Chuck E. Cheeses 

or suck the hairspray out of Donald Trump's comb over?

I know, it's a tough one...

Three of Kate's classmates banded together to celebrate birthdays in one fell swoop...  

Real genius, 

 and it saves us  from attending three parties in close succession... 

Who can blame the choice of C E. C?  

The kids love it, the food mess and mayhem are contained and parents don't have to clean up...  

Perfect, except for one little element....  

Chuck E. Cheeses is pure parental hell...  

The moment your child learns they are headed to C E.C 

(and God forbid you give them advanced notice or they will bug you every 

2.5 minutes about when they are going there...) 

he/she goes into spasms of hyperactive ecstasy that builds in the car ride to the party...  

Once inside, their mouths drop in awe, their eyes glaze over from the massive stimulation

and then they dart into the crowd of surely predatorial strangers...  

I had an extra Andrew Jackson in my pocket to redeem for Jack's tokens... 

This time he was glad to be dragged along...

He disappeared faster than you can say Skee-Ball... 

Chuck E. Cheeses employees must only last a few months,  

if only for the potent hearing loss they must experience from working there...  

The roar of games, fake animated figures, sobbing children 

and shouting parents must surely qualify for hazard pay...  

Going to Chuck E. Cheeses is like Vegas on steroids... 

Two hours there is similar to three days in V-Town... 

If you hear one more beeping machine or clinking coins, your head will pop off...  

Sixty minutes into the experience, you see dazed children half running, 

half staggering to the first open game, parents are trying to keep up, with a look that says,

"I'd better have scotch in the next thirty minutes or else someone is gonna get tazed..."  

Thankfully the drama ends in two hours and after the kids have redeemed 600,000 tickets for a stick of plastic gum, I dragged them outside, somewhat satisfied with their day... 

Was it as bad as Trump's Aqua Net?  

Happy kids are worth a lot of things....this one's a toss up....