I have named my children the Bickerson's...
They are constantly at each other's throats, finding the most miniscule reason to pick a fight...
Kate: "Mommy, it's cold outside today...."
Jack: "Actually, Kate, it's not that cold out. I'd say it's pretty warm..."
(it is 35 degrees)
Kate: "NO, it's NOT, JACK! It's cold!"
Jack: "I think it's warm!"
Kate: (now screaming) "IT IS COLD!!!"
Jack: "Warm..."
And so it continues.
Oh, about 50 times a day...
Does this happen in your house?
Please say yes, because if I am the only bad parent
who cannot seem to make my kids like each other I might drink bleach...
Last night they were at it again and Tom pulled up this strangely appropriate clip from the Simpson's.
I was mentioning that the only thing that might get their attention from fighting would be a little zap.....
just kidding....
no need to call DCFS....
I get this parenting newsletter for some reason that focuses on babies and toddlers...
For the reasons above, combined with my seriously advancing age,
oh, and the proverbial snip years ago, more kids are a non starter...
Anyway, I generally delete the newsletter before taking a look,
but this one's heading was
"Discipline, Five Top Ways to Keep Your Kid in Check!"
I am open to any ideas, since mine generally don't work...
Fooled again, most of the ideas I have either tried or I KNOW they don't work...
Such as: 1. Divert Their Attention...
Um yeah....I get about 30% success rate with that one.
Jack's mind is singular, like a charging herd of water buffalo...
He will not be distracted from the mission of getting another $5.00 app for his IPod, out of his father, at all costs. Mentioning that an ice cream truck, two circus clowns and a fire in the house across the street are happening out the window will have zero effect.
2. Whisper.
When the kids are screaming loud enough to be heard in the next county,
you can bet my whisper will not register even the slightest glance.
3. Use Humor.
This sometimes works if the kid is not too upset, however,
I am not very good at pulling any Carrot Top moves when Jr. is pushing my buttons...
4. Take a Grown Up Time Out...
Trust me, if I could disappear upstairs with a good book and a glass of Pinot Grigio,
Mommy would feel a whole lot better...
Those dang kids find me, though, and there goes a good long Mommy time out...
5. This one is my favorite: "Create a Mantra, such as "He's just a kid.."
I could think of so many mantras that go through my mind
when the kids are creating mayhem, and mine are not very PC...
Although, if I say them in my mind and don't spit them out, it might work......
"I might run away....I might run away.....I might run away....."
To be fair, the kids do play well together once in a while,
like when the new moon rises closer to Earth than usual,
So we have that going for us....
Sigh....I so feel your pain. My boys will argue and bicker over anything and everything. Lately I've resorted to "Disney Dollars." We are taking them on their first trip to Disney World in June and I made some fake dollar bills with Disney characters. When they are kind, polite and get along, they can earn Disney Dollars. They will be allowed to cash them in the day before we leave for a dollar each in spending money. I also have made them pay me when their behavior is bad. So far, it's very motivating :) Now, when we return from vacation, I'm screwed....
ReplyDeleteYou always have such good ideas, Ashlyn. I'm going to have to figure out how to improvise with the cash. Jack is definitely motivated by money!
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