Spring?

"Why is it still so cold around here?!"  

It's a complaint that has become a conversation starter in Chicago....  

"Can you believe it's still 15 degrees below normal?!"  

I have lived here long enough to know 

that it doesn't really warm up until mid June 

and some years it stays cool all summer, too.  

It's really a rude characteristic of the Upper Midwest.....  

I am so longing to get outside and try to breathe life 

into the Beirut that is my yard... 

Two years of harsh construction erased years of careful cultivation... 

Piles of gravel, rusty nails and bits of wood 

replaced the clouds of impatiens, 

hydrangea bushes and bursts of petunias...  

My rutted yard has more hills than the Mississippi River Valley 

and Death Valley has more grass... 

I wanna get out there with rakes, rototillers, shovels and compost, but it's either cold or raining... 

So, to curb my gardenly cravings, I have set up Operation Green Thumb in the kitchen.  

Armed with seed starters, water and lots of hope, Kate and I planted radishes, carrots, broccoli, nasturtiums, echinacea, cosmos, thyme, Italian parsley, oregano and basil.  

They are spindly little adolescents now, but here's hoping by mid May, they will be ready to hit the dirt.  

Meanwhile, I am still cooking winter food... 

Dinner was meatloaf, mashed spuds, corn on the cob and carrots...  

Paul Deen makes a mean meatloaf, and here is her recipe:  

Old-Fashioned Meat Loaf- A.K.A 'Basic' Meat Loaf

Ingredients

• 1 pound ground beef
• 1 1/4 teaspoons salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup chopped onion
• 1/2 cup chopped bell pepper
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 8 ounces canned diced tomatoes with juice
• 1/2 cup quick-cooking oats

Topping:

• 1/3 cup ketchup
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon prepared mustard

Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Mix all meatloaf ingredients well and place in a baking dish. Shape into a loaf.

Topping:

Mix ingredients for topping and spread on loaf. Bake for 1 hour. 

The Bickerson's

I have named my children the Bickerson's...  

They are constantly at each other's throats, finding the most miniscule reason to pick a fight...  

Kate: "Mommy, it's cold outside today...."  

Jack:  "Actually, Kate, it's not that cold out.  I'd say it's pretty warm..."  

(it is 35 degrees)  

Kate: "NO, it's NOT, JACK!  It's cold!"  

Jack:  "I think it's warm!"  

Kate: (now screaming) "IT IS COLD!!!"  

Jack: "Warm..."  

And so it continues.  

Oh, about 50 times a day...

Does this happen in your house?  

Please say yes, because if I am the only bad parent 

who cannot seem to make my kids like each other I might drink bleach... 

Last night they were at it again and Tom pulled up this strangely appropriate clip from the Simpson's.  

 

I was mentioning that the only thing that might get their attention from fighting would be a little zap.....

just kidding....  

no need to call DCFS....  

I get this parenting newsletter for some reason that focuses on babies and toddlers... 

For the reasons above, combined with my seriously advancing age, 

oh, and the proverbial snip years ago, more kids are a non starter...  

Anyway, I generally delete the newsletter before taking a look, 

but this one's heading was

"Discipline, Five Top Ways to Keep Your Kid in Check!"  

I am open to any ideas, since mine generally don't work... 

Fooled again, most of the ideas I have either tried or I KNOW they don't work...  

Such as:  1. Divert Their Attention...  

Um yeah....I get about 30% success rate with that one.  

Jack's mind is singular, like a charging herd of water buffalo... 

He will not be distracted from the mission of getting another $5.00 app for his IPod, out of his father, at all costs.  Mentioning that an ice cream truck, two circus clowns and a fire in the house across the street are happening out the window will have zero effect.  

2. Whisper.  

When the kids are screaming loud enough to be heard in the next county, 

you can bet my whisper will not register even the slightest glance.  

3.  Use Humor.  

This sometimes works if the kid is not too upset, however, 

I am not very good at pulling any Carrot Top moves when Jr. is pushing my buttons...  

4. Take a Grown Up Time Out... 

Trust me, if I could disappear upstairs with a good book and a glass of Pinot Grigio, 

Mommy would feel a whole lot better...  

Those dang kids find me, though, and there goes a good long Mommy time out... 

5.  This one is my favorite:  "Create a Mantra, such as "He's just a kid.."  

I could think of so many mantras that go through my mind 

when the kids are creating mayhem, and mine are not very PC... 

Although, if I say them in my mind and don't spit them out, it might work......

"I might run away....I might run away.....I might run away....."     

To be fair, the kids do play well together once in a while, 

like when the new moon rises closer to Earth than usual, 

So we have that going for us....

Goodie, Goodie....

Kate's real birthday was yesterday 

and it was pretty good to be her, I'd say...

The morning arrived with breakfast in bed (tradition), 

school was enhanced by the school spring performances 

(her class sang an Australian song) 

and she donated a book to the class in celebration of her birth... 

Remember your mom bringing cupcakes to class for your birthday?  

Those days are looong gone... 

Unless you bring an Epi-Pen with every snack, you can forget it...  

Now, I sympathize with those with allergies, 

but I do mourn the loss of some childhood fun... 

Sigh...

Oh well...  

At least the class can read "Henry's Show and Tell" for all eternity.....  

After dinner, Jack, I mean Kate, or was it Jack who opened the gifts...  

My first born has some control freak workin'...

and he just had to boss 

Kate around on her own birthday... 

I mean, does he really know more about Bitty Babies than she does?  

With the real birthday under our belts, 

on to the mayhem tomorrow that is her party at the YMCA.    

The PreK rule is that your party must include the WHOLE CLASS to avoid hurt feelings... 

I see nods in the crowd...

you have experienced this fun mandate, too, I see...  

Yep, well it conflicts with our family rule that 

the number of guests conveniently coincides with your age.  

Ie:  if you are turning 5, then you may invite 5 guests...  

   

Instead, we are hosting 15 three to five year olds....

Thus the party at the Y and not in our home... 

It will be a Zoo Theme, they tell me...  

All I have to do is show up and pay...  

Can't be all that bad, can it?  

Anyway, I had to come up with a goodie bag... 

All moms supply goodies bags....

Kids expect them and compare them to other parties...

The pressure!  

Most of us are pretty tired of the goodie bags,

packed with dollar and party store plastic crap 

that disintegrates in the car on the way home from the party... 

It then ends up jammed between the seats 

and is found only after it leaves a permanent dent 

or stain in the upholstery.  

At a recent party, one mom gave out sport bottles with some candy inside...

good idea!  

One year, Tom made music cd's of Jack's fave tunes to hand out to the boys... 

He even made a custom label of Jack playing a guitar... 

Good idea in theory except that he put off execution until 

15 minutes before party time... 

Note to self:  proof all selected songs before burning them to a cd... 

Not a good idea to include songs for a kid's cd 

that has lyrics with the 

F-bomb....

I'm just sayin'.....   

So, what to provide as a goodie that 

won't have the kids throwing them back at you?   

A good friend suggested T shirts...  

So what I did was have a custom design created here... 

LOVE Etsy.... 

I bought little tees online in bulk...  

and did the DIY.  

I jazzed up Kate's tee with a few sparkles I had lying around, 

and voila'...

For a little added fun, I found this SUPER easy and fun treat.....

Jungle Oreos.   

Jessy Simonson give this great tutorial on how to make 'em.... 

There is nothing to it...

Really....Aren't they so cool?  So awesome when it really works!

I will bag these cool treats and tie them to each bundled tee.  

Hopefully, the kids will like them.  

Hmmmm, what cocktail would be in keeping with a zoo theme....

Pina Colada?  

I'm just planning ahead what Mommy gets to drink after the party is over......  

Just sayin'....

Parting Thoughts....

 

After our visit to the UAE, I learned the following...

1.  Camel racing is weird...

2.  Next time we will go on a desert safari...

3.  Next time we will ski at  the Mall of the Emirates....

4.  I will undoubtedly sprain or break something....

5.  The Dubai transit system makes the Chicago EL look like a battered tin can....

6.  Mosques, with their green spires, dot the landscape like Seven Elevens....They are every few blocks...

7.  The call to prayer is pleasantly eerie....?

8.  Our next visit will have to include Jack and Ferrari World.....

9.  Jumping out of a plane or para sailing is just plain nuts....We saw a lot of that....

10.  There is an inverse relationship to swimwear and obesity...'nuf said...

11.  Reading two books uninterrupted while a nice man in a white uniform hands you 

cool towels and mini water spritzers, is the life....

12.  Drinking a mai tai while seated at a pool bar, seats submerged in the water, rocks...

13.  Drunk women should not wrestle in the sand 

unless they know they will not see their opponents the next day...Men, of course disagree...

 14.  The Atlantis has a huge opening in its architecture that must be an alternate doorway to Narnia...

15.  Ex-pats have a great life here, especially in Abu Dhabi.  I'd do it for a while...

16.  Jet lag lasts too long for old birds like me....

17.  Tom is headed back to the UAE in a few weeks......

Can I come too?

Party Like a Rock Star.....

Tom's trip to Dubai was for the purpose of business, 

but we managed the dates a bit to meet up with our friends from London, Melissa and Andrew.  

They recently moved to London from Chicago after marrying a little over a year ago...  

Melissa worked with me for many years and she, well, married a cool rock star...  

Andrew is the bassist and one of the founders of the legendary Brand New Heavies... 

She couldn't have found a more wonderful man, but hey, the rock star part works, too!  

We love them and jumped at the chance to meet up while they played Sand Dance, the Dubai music festival.  

The promoters put the band up at the Atlantis Dubai, 

so we cabbed along "The Palm" to the end where Atlantis perches... 

May there never be a tsunami in the Persian Gulf, because that man-made palm will be in for it.....

This hotel is Vegas East.....  

Gorgeous, huge and even smells like Vegas hotels...  

 

Check out this Chihuly sculpture.....

There is a gigantic aquarium, numerous fancy lounges and restaurants, 

pretty people and Emeratis everywhere.  

Security was super tight...you would have thought His Highness was on premises....  

A beaming, radiant Melissa met us at the bar and then we went to the beach bandstand to see the show.  

Andrew was looking fine in his show gear, playing his new private label bass.

  

It was a great show, right there on the sand...  

We danced like fools, well not really.. the hammered girls in front of us danced like big, 

sweaty fools, bumping us and splashing drinks.  

Even on the beach, it's a little annoying...  

It wasn't until a tall, wasted guy started bouncing off of Tom, that I worried a fight might break out...  

Tom is so easy going, but he can only take so much...

After the Heavies finished their set, we were allowed back stage to hang with the band... 

I've always wanted to say that.....  

There were some more white couches, a bar with stern Middle Eastern guys reluctantly serving drinks 

and a small trailer with munchies inside.  

We had a great time talking and laughing with the band, the hanger's ons and some chick who looked like an MTV type of interviewer...   

Once in a while we would step up to the back stage area to watch the subsequent acts... 

The crowd was growing...larger and drunker....  

Backstage was becoming drunker, too... 

The lovely backup singer, who has a voice from the heavens, was a little toasted... 

Apparently she was a WWF warrior in her past life, because 

she must have wrestled at least 10 people that night, mostly women.  

It's her M.O., I was told... although she was not winning this particular round.... 

I hid....

I know of few moves from Jack's seido karate, 

but didn't want to be tested that night by a woman half my height....  

The Middle Eastern stage security guy did not approve of the wrestling matches.  

He pretty much glared the whole time....

All in all, it was a blast getting to know the band....

They are a bunch of great and very funny people...  

 

The next night we all reconvened at the beach bar named Nasimi beach...  

Apparently all food was comped for the band, but not liquor... 

So, they poured some duty free goodies into water bottles and brought them along...  

I am sure it was strange to the waitstaff when we ordered only soda.... 

The DJ at the bar was awesome, the night was just cool enough and the company was entertaining.... 

I could get used to hangin' with the glitterati....

Lastly: Parting Thoughts....